It is essential to be met where you are! The truth is often skipped over in social media support groups or writings that I read. I've noticed in some groups, someone will say they are having a terrible day and then follows the avalanche of comments such as – "keep fighting", "you are brave", "you can beat this" – you get what I mean! This then becomes yet another place where there is no space for feeling the actual feeling. This can contribute to the person having the feeling to push it down and deny their experience instead of being present and witnessed. An opportunity to be allowed your emotions has been denied.
We are always sensing if it's ok to speak about it how we feel. You might notice some people starting to avoid you. You may even find it challenging to be with some of those meaningless conversations people have. More and more, we internalize our grief and isolate either our whole self or a part of ourselves. We try to deal with our grief on our own or suppress it because it's too hard to find a space for it to be allowed without feeling like we are burdening others.
But we are not meant to be on our own - we are hard-wired for community, and we have a need to fit into that community. It's a primary survival mechanism. Seek out support, whether professional or a friend willing to take the grief road with you regardless of how long or winding it is.
If you seek out a friend, it might be helpful to ask if they are willing to hold space for you and your grief. Let them know what your need is or that you don't know what your need is, and see if they are happy to support you or not. It may not be something they feel able to do, and we must honor their capacity as well as our own need.
Insight: Support groups can be great, as long as you don't find yourself comparing your story to others' stories. This can minimize your own experience because you decide someone else has a worse story. You have the wisdom to make the decision for yourself. If you find that the friends and support groups are not giving you what you need, try something else. Keep looking for what you need.