In my last article, I wrote about honouring when energy leaves. Some of you responded, asking: "But how do I trust this? How do I know I'm not just avoiding or giving up?" Great questions and an important ones.

Here's what I know to be the truth: Life moves in cycles. There are times for expansion and times for contraction. Periods of action and periods of integration. Phases where you're building and phases where you're releasing what no longer serves.

Here's the hard part your questions address: how do you know whether you're honouring a genuine shift in energy or using "rest" to avoid what's difficult or overwhelming?

The Difference Between Flow and Stuckness

Being in flow has movement, even during rest. When energy genuinely leaves something, there's a feeling of completion or natural dissolution. It doesn't feel forced or decided…it just is. The body relaxes slightly when you consider letting it go.

Stuckness has no movement, just repetition of the same pattern with the same result. It feels different. It's heavy. Immobile. There's a knowing that you're avoiding something, that fear of some kind is making the decision, that you're waiting for perfect conditions that will never arrive. The body stays contracted when you think about it.

Take a moment to check in with yourself and ask: Am I honouring a natural ebb in energy? Wait to see what you feel in your body. Then ask: Am I hiding from something that scares me or feels too big? Again, wait to feel the body's response. Both of these can look like "not doing or resting", and they feel completely different in your body. Both of these can look like "not doing or resting", and they feel completely different in your body.

Embracing Life's Rhythms

After trauma, many of us lost connection to our natural flow. We learned to override what the body needed because survival demanded it. We pushed through exhaustion. We forced productivity during phases that asked for rest. We stayed busy to avoid feeling.

Now, we're learning something different: to trust the timing of our life and honour where we are right now.

This doesn't mean we never push through hard things. It means we learn to feel the difference between healthy challenge and harmful override. Between rest that restores and avoidance that depletes.

Some days, you have the capacity for difficult conversations, challenging work, and forward movement. Other days you don't. Some weeks are expansive. Others require contraction. Some months invite new beginnings. Others ask you to complete what's already started before initiating anything new.

This is your body's wisdom about the timing of things and what it can hold and when. Forcing constant sameness denies fluency in your own rhythm. Recognising when energy is genuinely shifting and when exhaustion is masquerading as rest allows you to make different decisions for yourself.

The Practice of Honest Assessment

This coming week, when you notice energy has left something, pause before deciding what it means. Place one hand on your heart and the other on your belly, and take a few minutes to connect with yourself. Ask: "Is this completion?" and remember to take some time to feel the body respond. Then ask, "Is this avoidance?" Again, give some time to feel the body's response.

Completion may feel like: A natural ending, relief, body softening, clear knowing it's finished. You may feel satisfaction when you acknowledge the ending.

Avoidance may feel like: Familiar, fear, body staying tight, repetitive thoughts justifying the stopping, wanting it to be over without actually engaging with what's hard about it.

If it's completion or genuine rest, honour it. Let it go or let yourself rest without guilt.

If it's avoidance: acknowledge the fear. You don't have to override it, but you do need to see it clearly. Sometimes we need to rest before we can face what scares us. That's fine and ensure you name it honestly. For example "I'm scared I will never finish what I said I would."

Trusting Your Timing

Your timing won't match anyone else's. Your capacity won't look like theirs. Your rhythm is yours alone. Some phases are for growth. Others for rest, release, or renewal. Trust the timing of your life, and honour where you are right now, not where you think you should be, not where others are, but where you actually are.

The ebb and flow of your energy is information. It's telling you what your system can hold and when. Learning to listen to this…really listen, without the mind immediately overriding it with should, is the practice.

Not everything is meant to bloom all the time. You are not meant to produce constantly. Your worth isn't measured by how consistently you perform.

Trust what's true in your body. Honour the natural shifts in your energy. Know the difference between genuine rest and fearful avoidance. And permit yourself to be exactly where you are in the timing of your life.

Reflections

Before doing these reflections, remember to make connection with yourself for a few minutes.

*Where am I currently experiencing a shift or change in energy?*

*Is this a natural ebb I need to honour, or am I avoiding something that needs my attention?*

*How does my body feel when I consider resting versus pushing through?*

*What permission do I need to give myself to trust my own timing?*

​May you be well, may you be happy and may you have inner peace.